When I was 17, I did a bungee jump. And it was terrifying. I stood at the edge of the Kawarau Bridge, In Queenstown, New Zealand and jumped off. Now I cannot pretend that I was brave about it. It took me a good 20 minutes to pluck up the courage to take this leap of faith. But I did it. I then tried to do the Nevis Bungy jump a few days later. I was not brave enough. Despite having all the gear on and being at the edge of the rickety cable car, 134m in the air, I panicked, and I chickened out.

That experience has made me afraid of heights – especially high and fast rollercoasters.

A lot of people told me, or should I say ‘warned’ me of the rollercoaster world of freelancing and running your own business. In particular, the mixture of emotions I would feel throughout a month, a week, maybe even a day. But surely it couldn’t be as bad as the Nevis bungee jump?

Well, it’s not – thankfully. But nevertheless, one moment you’re riding high, feeling like nothing is going to stand in your way. The next moment, you’re down in the depths of despair, you don’t know when the next job will come, and you worry that you’ll never make enough to pay the mortgage. Then you’ll feel like you have a handle on things, you’re ok, you’re steady. Then you’ll be down in the depths again questioning why you ever chose to leave the open plan office, 30 days holiday and company pension. And then you’re right back up there again, punching the air and buying the bottle of prosecco to celebrate the quote that’s just been accepted.

I knew this rollercoaster would come and this week it came.

Good things that happened:
– Positive media coverage for a client
– Potential national media opportunity for a client
– Sent out two quotes for work
– One of those quotes accepted (waiting to hear on the other)
– Made good headway on a project

Not so good things that happened:
– Rejected by a potential client
– One project nearing competition (fear of where the next one will come from)
– Failed media pitch
– Outgoing costs creeping up
– Worrying that I am not networking enough
– Non-productive days – emails don’t seem to be answered
– I took a 2-hour lunch break (I am still getting used to being on my own time frame)

It’s been a real mixed bag.

And many people who look at this could say: “What are you talking about? This is a great week!” And it has been a good week but the mixture of emotions that I have felt has been a real eye opener. From elation to panic to worry to contentment. It’s all been there. And this is something I am going to have to get used to. I know I will. But it could take time. Who knows, over time, I may even start to enjoy rollercoasters but I won’t do a bungee jump again. That’s for sure.

 

 

I am a PR and Communications Consultant with over 10 years of experience. If you’ve got a story to tell, email me at becky@beckyattwoodcommunications.co.uk and let’s have a chat about how to get your story out there.